Do you ever battle with guilt and shame about the expectations you have for yourself surrounding your faith? Today, I am going to share about how misunderstanding who God is led me down a road of guilt, shame, and depression. I will also offer some practical steps to help you avoid these feelings and embrace an authentic relationship with God.
Misconceptions of Joy
Growing up, I was a PK — a pastor’s kid. My dad was a pastor, and I spent a lot of time in church surrounded by a community filled with purpose and love. I learned early on how important it is to have a personal relationship with God. However, this understanding wasn’t always positive for me. I often felt guilty when I didn’t meet the righteous expectations of those around me. I believed that my actions caused God to be upset with me and love me less. This idea led to a great deal of unnecessary mental turmoil.
The Battle Between Joy and the Love of God
One of my major misconceptions was that my actions could dictate God’s love for me and my overall worth. This belief caused me to struggle with guilt and doubt. After years of battling these feelings, I found peace in Romans 8:28 and my own narrative of self-worth.It says “We know that all things God Works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” This verse helped me understand that joy isn’t about being perfect; it’s about trusting in my relationship with God and knowing that I am worthy of joy.
A Spiritual Journey to Joy
If you are struggling to believe in your worthiness despite your shortcomings, here are five things you can start doing today to establish a stronger relationship with your faith and begin to reframe your ideas of worthiness to improve joy.
1. Acknowledge Your Shortcomings: We all make mistakes. The quicker we identify them the quicker we can move forward.
2. Recognize You’re Separated from Your Past: Understand that you are not defined by your past mistakes. There is enough grace to cover it ALL! You get to start over as many times as you need to.
3. Beware of Your Surrounding: Find like-minded people who encourage you and support your growth Stay away from people who try to make you feel like you can't be a better version of yourself. These individuals can help encourage you in believing in a better version of yourself.
4. Receive Joy Without Guilt: Embrace moments of joy fully without questioning them or feeling undeserving. When you feel joy, take a moment to reflect on your gratitude.
5. Plan Ahead: Identify your triggers that lead to feelings of guilt and shame and develop strategies to cope with these emotions. This proactive approach will help you maintain joy.
Your Weekly Self-Care Plan
To help you on your journey, here is a simple self-care plan for this week:
1. Call it Out: Name two things you feel guilt or shame about that you want to stop carrying.
2. Let It Go: Write a journal entry about why you’ve held onto this guilt and how you plan to let it go.
3. Identify Your Support: List one person in your support system who advocates for the best version of you.
4. Fill in the Blank: Complete this sentence: “When I feel guilt or shame about ___________, I will ___________ to help me redirect my thoughts and speak truth over my situation.”
Remember, joy is your birthright, and you are worthy of it.
Shekinah
The Purposed Therapist
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